doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
PANTIES FOUND
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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