I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
