why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
