Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
