just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
