Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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