Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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