Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
