youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
That reminds me...we need to get swords
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
