You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
