I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
