I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
