How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
