Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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