i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
