so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
