when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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