your parents love me but you hate me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Your dad touched me again.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
