I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
