From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My feet surprised me
Randomize