Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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