Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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