Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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