he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
high people should be assigned attendants
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
