I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize