life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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