I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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