I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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