If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
