So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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