I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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