So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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