hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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