dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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