Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I want is dick and wine.