i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.