When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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