thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
