U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I want her autograph on my taint
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
