just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
