i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
do nipples grow back?
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