I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The best revenge is premature balding
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
