the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
