you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
