I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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