Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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