i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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