are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
