You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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