Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
