he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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