Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
