Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
