Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
