sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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