I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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