soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
