I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
