I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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