Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I intend to get homeless drunk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
