I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
