their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
