Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize