If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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