if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
