Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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