i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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