I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
