wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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